I Lost My Mojo and How I'm Getting it Back

I knew that having a baby would change me. Having done this before, I was prepared to stretch and grow to accommodate a new little life. However, I was not prepared for the aversion to my favourite pastime. When I got pregnant with my second child, I lost my mojo.

I’ve written before about how I use knitting and crochet (and sewing, cooking, baking, gardening…) as a way to have something to show for my time. And, even how to get your mojo back. I feel value in being productive and these things clearly show my efforts. Each stitch marks a passing moment. It’s interesting how much stitches are influenced by what we are going through; how our tension is a reflection of our current circumstance.

What happens when all inspiration vanishes? When the mere thought of interacting with yarn, or hooks and needles seems almost repulsive?

People talk about pregnancy avoidance, but usually only in the context of food. For my second pregnancy, my only avoidance was to yarn. I couldn’t even think about touching it, let alone creating any projects with it.

I’ve heard many other creators express the same sentiment. As if our bodies creating life insist on focusing on the biggest project only – creating a human from scratch. Which is no small feat to begin with.

I’m not alone in this.

But, it can be a struggle when personal value is rooted in output.

I’ve had to remind myself that although I may not be working stitch by stitch, my body was slowly stitching together this tiny little human cell by cell. I took a break from the things that bring me joy and peace a a means to rest. Physically and mentally. Not by choice. But by necessity. My body knew I needed it.

Transitions don’t last forever. At least not each one individually. As life ebbs and flows, so does creativity. So, I lost my mojo. But, I plan to document how I’m getting it back.

Since being postpartum, I’ve finished two knitting projects and have three on my needles. There are a few crochet blankets that are works in progress, in hibernation mode. I plan to pick these up within the coming months and finish them.